Last month I saw a report on this article on the Early Show and realized that this was totally an issue that I was dealing with in my day to day life. Not only on Facebook, but even more so on the blogs. I wasn’t just putting my life out there as a fish story – in all its perfect glory, but I was also suffering from the issue of seeing what everyone else has put out there and getting consumed in the fact that their lives were so much better than mine.
Everyday I get online and read so many blogs about people’s wonderful lives. Their adorable families, all the great crafts they do, how amazing their husbands are and then I just become completely enveloped in the fact that while my family is adorable, I’m in no way crafty (and even if I was, I don’t have time for it) and while my husband is a great guy and a great dad – I don’t have “amazingwonderfulhusbandstories” to share with the world. That’s just not our reality. It makes me feel like I don’t belong. I’m only hurting myself. And yet – I continue to do it.
My life is not perfect. My life is messy. Chad and I love each other but sometimes we have to ask if we really like each other that much. We argue. We fight. We say things we (hopefully) don’t mean. We talk about next steps. We make up. We do it all again. Seriously, are we the only ones? That’s what it feels like a lot of the time.
Sometimes, I want time away but I refuse to make it. I feel so guilty asking for any time to myself. I haven’t had my hair done in 10 months (roots = ugh!). I have a gift card for a free pedicure that I got for my birthday 11 months ago that expires next month – I doubt it will get used. I try to make plans to do these things. Guilt takes over. I stay home. I WANT to stay home (sort of). I want to be with my babies, I want to cuddle them and laugh with them. They are what make all of this okay.Here’s the weird part. I’m not saying this because I want people to feel sorry for me. I’m saying it because it’s true. And I’m saying it out of respect for people that are honest on their blogs and on Facebook that do talk about life’s imperfections. They have my respect, and this post is merely my baby step toward becoming an open and honest woman and blogger.