Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Count it down...

The final countdown…
This is what is going on in my head. Minutes and days, ticking away.
We are officially a week away from Baby Brother Bodey’s B-Day.
Seven days
168 Hours
10,080 Minutes
604,800 Seconds
But hey…who’s counting?

People like to ask if we are ready. I don’t know how to answer this.

Mentally, I don’t think that you really can be completely ready. There is always the unknown. My mental anguish comes more from how Hunter will deal with his baby brother than how I will deal. Hunter has been my EVERYTHING for the last 16 months. I love this kid more than life itself and now I have to figure out how to love another baby just as much without slighting him. I’m having a hard time dealing with the fact that I won’t get to hold him for a week or two while I’m recovering. I don’t know how I’m going to handle him looking up at me with those “pick me up” arms outstretched and having to tell him I can’t. It’s probably better if I don’t think about it – it only makes me cry.

Physically, my body is ready. I’m finally starting to feel like this pregnancy is getting the best of me. I have felt great up until now. I thought I was somehow cheating the pregnancy system. I was sleeping well, I was walking with only minimal waddle. Life was good. This morning, the pregnancy gods must have realized that they had let me slip through the cracks. I am tired and achey…and tired. I’m not miserable though so I suppose I should quit complaining. My hair is colored and my toes are painted so I’m ready to get this show on the road!

Our house is a mess. Neither nursery is ready for either of our boys. I have a stack of newborn clothes that need washed. My bag isn’t packed. The car seat is still in the closet. The bassinet is in the garage.

And yet, amidst all this chaos – I am more calm and “ready” than I was 16 months (and 12 days) ago when the HuntDog entered the world. Perhaps it’s the benefit of baby #2, or perhaps it is that it just hasn’t hit me yet and I’ll start hyperventilating any second now.