Here we are...38+ weeks pregnant and just waiting waiting waiting. The anxiety is getting to me in a way that I could have never imagined. I can't pinpoint the anxiety either. Is it the fear of becoming a mother for the first time? Is it the fear of childbirth? I have NO IDEA! I guess it is probably the fear of it all. I find things to worry about so that I can stay up at night. The one night in the last month that I was asleep before midnight I woke up at 4a.m. and stewed on things until 7a.m. I am totally exhausted all the time. I wish I could be one of those pregnant women that is just smiling and glowing up until the second that she pushes the little booger out. I'm afraid that it's just not going to be the case. I'm slowly shutting down. My apologies to those that may wind up feeling my wrath.
The one thing that this pregnancy has taught me is how to properly treat pregnant women going foward. It appears that once you hit a certain point, you are nothing more than a baby maker and no one has any desire to discuss anything with you other than baby. People that you rarely talk to will contact you just to find out if the baby is born. No real "how are you doing?" just "have you had the baby yet?" I guess that the excitment does that to people...I probably did it to Jenny when she was pregnant with Camryn. Sorry J!
On a side note, Trigger is being extra sweet and lovey today! He's my sweet baby boy and giving me the comfort and attention that I needed. Ellen is on, which means it is Trigger's nap time but he's spending it up here wrapped up next to me as I type away. He's doing his part to keep me sane as I slowly lose my mind.
Ah, you are gonna be such a good mama; quit that worrying! :) Tell your handsome hubby "hi"!...can't wait to you you guys soon....I am starting to pack so moving is becoming a "real" thing!! :)
ReplyDeleteMichelle
Lacey,
ReplyDeleteI am so glad to have found your blog. I have enjoyed reading about your journey to motherhood. Growing a baby sure changes the way we look at the world. I am so excited for you and cannot wait to meet Hunter. Know that you are not alone in your worries. Every first time mother goes through the anxiety that you are experiencing. Just know that the moment you go into labor - you will know exactly what to do and how to handle things. You will instantly transform into an "all-knowing" mother. The worries quickly disappear and all you will be able to think about is the excitement of seeing your precious baby boy...and boy will he be excited to meet you too. Also know that the second time around is much calmer - much more relaxing - as there is no more fear of the unknown. (Yes, I know, you don't even want to think about another child at this point.) :o)
God Bless,
April