When I was about 5 months pregnant I was unemployed and living in a town where I knew pretty much no one. It was just me and Chad. He was gone during the day and I could only watch so much small claims court television. Researching my pregnancy lead me to babycenter.com, which led me to the February 2009 Birth Club. Here was this huge group of women going through something insanely similar to what I was going through. If I was having an ache or sadness, there was someone else on that message board that either knew all about it, or knew nothing, but was having the same issue.
Sure, when you get that many women together there will be cat fights. There are nice girls and mean girls. And hundreds of those that fit into neither category. There were first time moms and moms working on #5. There are "crunchy" moms and nowhere near crunchy moms. Some of us had Secret Mommies that we sent gifts to and those that we received gifts from. It was my pregancy haven. I loved it.
And then we all started having our babies...
I always assumed that once Hunter was born I would be too busy for the message board but that wasn't the case. From the time he was born, I couldn't wait to get home and post his "birth announcement" online.
The board certainly did slow down after the babies all came but there was still plenty of advice (and drama) to keep everyone entertained. I didn't have a real support group - I don't do playdates or Mommy and Me. These women were my new mother support system. I never realized what a truly amazing band of mothers they were until we found out about Micah.
When word came of his passing, so many of us cried. We posted messages about our crying. We hid in our cubicles or offices at work and cried. We cried for this family. And then came the most amazing thing ever...a post from Micah's mom. She simply asked us not to be sad, that Micah had brought us all together and that she got to spend 5 amazing months with him and he would now be looking over her and her husband. I was shocked! Here was a woman that had just lost her son and she was consoling a thousand women when we should have been consoling her. What an amazing woman and beautiful mother. I don't know her, I have never met her, or even seen her picture but she had become my hero for her grace and strength.
This band of mothers are doing what we can to support her and she's actually helping to support us. I don't think that there was ever a question that we would do something for this family. It's impossible to hold your own February 2009 baby and not think that God could just as easily have put this plan in place for your baby, so with tear filled eyes, you reach out knowing that if the roles were reversed...she would be reaching out to you.